Hey Lovelies!!
If you have stumbled here…welcome. I am writing this post because I believe in transparency..and because I don’t want anyone to ever think that I minimize the vulnerabilty these beautiful ladies exhibit when they come in for a boudoir session with me. That they trust me, share with me and are vulnerable with me humbles me each and every time I have a session. I love nothing more than to watch that transformation…from insecure and uncertain to a freaking supermodel in front of the camera!
So, like every other woman who comes to see me I have my own body insecurities. and if I have learned anything shooting boudoir for the last 3 years it is that every single woman has those insecurities. Size 0 and 20 or size 32 and 50+ and everyone in between. Sexy has no size. It has no age…its not defined by a number. Its a state of mind. Its confidence and empowerment, its bravery and vulnerabilty, its about allowing yourself to see how beautiful you really are.
Me in the fall of 2010
I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. From adolescence complaining about my tummy and growing up in a huge diet culture. To those awful high school years where nothing and no one is actually ever good enough. Once I got pregnant and then married I gained a ton of weight like many women…. then multiple babies, miscarriages and a whacked out thyroid and all of a sudden it seemed that I was this person that I didn’t even recognize anymore.
Want to know the sad thing…probably the saddest thing??
It took me way too long to find these 2 images…not because it was so long ago, but because I never let myself actually be photographed. It was always I look too fat, I look like shit. Whatever. It was the best excuse in the world to stay on the other side of the lens. I topped out at a size 24…and that was when I wasn’t pregnant. I could not see I was beautiful…I could not see why on earth my husband found me attractive. I could not see that I had any worth at all.
Fast forward a year and completely unexpectedly I lost 100 pounds in 8 months. Not for any other reason than because my thyroid whacked out. and I dropped to a size 4..and couldn’t stop losing. Thing is?? I felt the same way about myself as I did the year before. Being “skinny” changed nothing. except now I just complained about the loose skin….
Since that time my weight has bounced up and came down…I developed some autoimmune issues that are all related to the thyroid stuff. I changed my diet and my lifestyle to help reduce the inflammation and have more energy but not to be a slave to the scale. But most importantly thru what I do I began to come into my own. I recognize the importance of being in pictures. Hell I post boudoir self portraits in the group to share. Here and here too I Selfie Sunday with you all. I get on live videos with my Facebook VIP group in my jammies without a speck of make up on. I allow myself to see how beautiful I am because how on earth could I ask anyone else to do that if I can’t? Every single day when a woman walks into my studio not only does she get to see how beautiful she is, but I too take a step forward in this journey of self love.
So it is my mission, my PASSION to empower other women to see just that sexy and beautiful have zero to do with any sort of number. Every single woman is gorgeous. Its just we don’t let ourselves believe it. I want to change that….I hope you join me
xoxox
Amy
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